A colleague at the office comes into work one day wearing a silly hat and is promptly fired for breaking the strict company dress code. Do you:

a) Stand up for him, by going to your boss's office and explaining that he's been under a lot of stress lately, and has issues of abandonment by his father?

b) Refuse to believe his sacking is genuine, but offer to walk out in protest if it is?

c) Grab the hat off his head, put it on your own, and bounce around the office whistling the theme from the Magic Roundabout?

d) Watch the whole episode from your cubicle and take notes so you can write a hilarious group email about it to all your friends?

e) Tell your boss that he tried to get everyone else to do the same thing, and didn't heed your attempted dissuasion?

An old friend that you haven't seen in years, turns up on your doorstep at 2am claiming that his car has broken down. Do you:

a) Show him in, wake up your girlfriend and start pouring the drinks while you bounce around the room whistling the theme to the Magic Roundabout?

b) Let him stay on the couch, but steal the wallet out of his jacket on your way out to work in the morning?

c) Offer to let him stay on the condition that he tells you what he's been doing since you saw him last, so you can write a book about it?

d) Take his coat, give him your own bed and access to your girlfriend?

e) Ask to see his car and verify its state of brokenness before you let him stay?

Your little brother confides to you that he has just slept with your mate's girlfriend. Do you:

a) Ask him to describe it in graphic detail and pen some erotic fiction?

b) Stick by the family code and keep schtum. Blood is thicker than water after all?

c) Blackmail the girlfriend into sleeping with you, but tell the mate anyway and then commit suicide when you realize what you've done?

d) Tell your brother he's a liar and ask to smell his fingers?

e) Ignore him and bounce around the room whistling the theme to the Magic Roundabout?